Cactus Chords

Scenario 1
Standing in front of the mirror, turn sideways, a couple of pats on the belly. Wonder to yourself, “How on earth did I get this?”

Scenario 2
While driving, happen to glance down and see your small belly popping out through the life saving seat belt embracing you. It’s only life saving, can’t save the shame, can it?

Scenario 3
Standing at a party or a get together, a chic walks past, suck your belly in. Hold it till your breath gives away and bang comes out the wobbly motherf@#$er.

Scenario 4
You are in a meeting and it’s time for the presentation, you get up and hold the bugger in, yet again. Go on with the presentation. When you feel you can’t hold on any longer, you turn towards the slides on the wall, let out a deep breath, feel better and then take a deep breath and turn back to the crowd.

Scenario 5
Going through your school, college or even pictures from the recent past with your lady love or lady friend  and suddenly a shame grips you when you see the old you.

And an excuse like, “That was in college. Its been so many years after that” can also be termed as LIVING IN DENIAL. It’ just been 3 years mate… You only have the right to use that sentence if it has been close to a decade.

Initially you console yourself, “Its a small belly, ill work out and get rid of it.” You start working out, jogging, skipping, cycling.

Jogging stops and you think, “Chill out dude, the rest of the exercises are still there”.

Skipping stops, “Relax bro, pumping and cycling is more than enough”.

Cycling stops, “Damn, why was I over exercising before, pumping iron is more than enough”.

Pumping iron stops……………..

Tired of all the extra fat accumulating under your chest, you wake up one morning, take a piece of paper, draw an impeccable table. After an hour of surfing through the web and calculating, you hold the sheet of paper high as if it is a masterpiece. YOUR NEW DIET CHART. You swear to stick by it no matter what.

Within no time, the whole house is pinned up with copies of it. You stick by it with flawless accuracy and dedication. 2 weeks tops and comes a close friend’s birthday party or wedding and you can’t help but go there. The diet is gone to the dogs.

Then there is the lovely mug of beer that we hold closest to our heart. Without beer, what is life? You say, “I work my ass all day for 5 or even 6 days a week. The only time I get to pamper myself is on a Saturday night and a Sunday. I am gonna drink!! But we do not realize the sly Tuesdays and Thursdays that slip in when we think, “It’s a Tuesday, a long week left, can’t wait for Saturday, just one beer”. On a Thursday “It’s Thursday, Saturday is also working. Damned, I can’t wait till then, just one beer.”

It is something I am fighting everyday. What can we do? I have a  remedy that I have discovered myself and I am following that and is working pretty well. Let us hope i stick to it for my sake.

Finding your remedy is up to you

Cheers!!!

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Since I commenced my blogging venture, I have been faced with the question whether my posts were lifted? It is a common question anyone can ask. But I started wondering why would they ask me something like that.

They know I am not that desperate to write a post by lifting something from the internet.

I might quote a line or a paragraph, but I mention it, when I do so. Otherwise, if i lift my posts from elsewhere and rephrase it, I will be putting the credibility of my blog at risk. I am very happy with the response I am receiving from readers so far.

People somehow can’t wrap their heads around the fact that maybe, I could write and that too write about topics people might be interested to read. Probably these are things that have been in my head for quite sometime. I have been wanting to start my blog for a long time but did not because I, firstly, did not know how to do it. Secondly, was scared how it would be accepted or perceived. But that was 2 years ago. I slowly overcame the apprehension and that has culminated in this blog. I faced these questions for the posts “Why do 9 out of 10 start-ups fail?” and “Are success and number of years of experience directly proportional?”.

Now I do realize, these might be topics a million others have spoken about.

Oh wait, but you know what? I don’t f@#$ing care.

Every word I have written there is what I have experienced with my company, with my partners, with my friends, with my life. It might be similar to others as there are just a limited number of ways one can screw up in business. What differs is who does it and how badly he gets screwed or screws someone. Makes sense?

I guess the main problem is because I write so many posts in such little time. People wonder if someone can write so much. I enjoy writing my posts. Probably after a while the number of posts uploaded may reduce.

As my first post says, no ones got a gun pointed to your head. On that good note, laters peeps

Cheers!!!

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Not everyone is as lucky as me when it comes to finding the right person. And when I say that, please don’t start off with the soul mate crap…Spare me the music.

I mean two people who gel and dig each other so well that, there are absolutely no complaints whatsoever. Except the occasional fights that everybody has on small things. But they are not blown out of proportion. It is as good as a friendship, of course, with the benefits of a relationship…ahem ahem…This makes it the perfect relationship. There are a lot of lucky men out there with girlfriends that realize exactly how a male brain functions and gives us space. I drop myself in the same basket. But at the same time we musn’t take advantage of the space given either. Respect must be showered equally to the other party as well. Coz dude, we all know what percentage of women in the world actually understand the male brain and live accordingly.

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Recently, an old friend of mine from college in Bangalore happened to call me out of the blue. He had gone through quite an emotional turmoil in the past couple of years. The reason being, no prizes for guessing, his woman.

The guy was so hysterical when he called that it took me a second to realize that he was not happy on talking to me after long, he was happy that he got a new person to narrate his saga to. He had literally typed out a template with all his problems in his mail drafts and whenever he got a prey to molest, he would send this mail with the name changed to the respective recipient’s. Hilarious!!!
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I received the mail, clicked on it. It took slightly longer than usual, but once it opened, it seemed like Shakespeare was still writing in his grave and he had sent me all that he wrote since he stepped in. It was never ending.  I shut it and called him to ask what exactly was the situation.

Before I tell you what happened next, that very phone call lasted for 5 hours, due course of which he cried like a baby, laughed like a mad man, screamed like a girl, howled like a wolf, sang like a beggar who had his b@!!$ squashed and many other emotions which I never even knew existed. At one point of time he started whining and laughing at the same time. It spooked the very soul out of me. I felt like I was bearing witness to an exorcism on the phone.

There is one thing I have realized about women that when they say “Women Are Complicated”, it’s a bloody hoax. They are not. The basic cause for all the speculations is just one thing, CONSTANT HORMONAL CHANGES & MOOD SWINGS. Every action of a woman can be justified by their mood swings.

Q: Why do people say they are complicated?

A: Because they switch personalities at times without the slightest warning. Some examples:

- They say things with absolutely no connection to the previous sentence.
- You are their prince charming at one time and their worst enemy the next moment.
- They are happy when you get them a gift, but angry that they didn’t get you something and that can ruin that night.
- They are happy you called them but sad why you didn’t call earlier.
- They are happy you have a lot of friends, but angry you spend more time with them, when you actually aren’t
- They are happy when you remember something you shared a while back, when they forget, its because they had so many other problems bothering them and then the famous line “Please, I remember more instances than you”.

And many more which you readers can add, as you read.

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Women have a lot of hormonal changes going on that result in mood swings. Once you keep room for the complete opposite reaction, your life is pretty much smooth sailing. Just like cops think like the way a crook would think to eventually catch them, we must subject our thoughts to those of a woman or at least try to create an inclination towards a woman’s thoughts. I am not in anyway looking down on women. Don’t shoot me.

Q: What is the solution?

A: If it was so easy, then I would be a Guru by now, a millionaire. There is no hard and fast rule buddy. You must be aware of the term Risk Analysis and Risk Management. Something similar to that is what you have to adopt when dealing with women. Adverse Reaction Analysis and Adverse Reaction Management.
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There are signs which women give, which differs from individual to individual, before they go into a frenzy for instance

- constant shifting of position
- vigorous eye movement
- quivering of the nose
- over-examining an object in the vicinity
- fidgety
- snappy
- the dangerous frown that says (what the hell did u just say?)
- the look of disbelief that says (how could you say that?)
- quivering chin, just before tears gush out
- brusque remarks (what?, who?, excuse me?, u crazy?, helloooo!!!)

The moment you hear any of these, it is wise to calm down and say sorry or just change the topic or give another gift or surprise or do something stupid and look cute. Otherwise, it will escalate into a fight unnecessarily and it will be blown out of proportion. If it is a girl who is stronger than you, then I pity you mate.

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Try and avoid these situations as much as possible. Women go through a lot and us guys have it easy throughout. The only thing we have to worry about is getting the food on the table. One way or the other we will do it. But we wont be able to withstand half the things women do, so cut them some slack.

But that doesn’t mean you let them sit on your head and take a dump. I hope you know the relevance of this post and the selective implementation of it.

But it is a complete different feeling to have someone care for you, love you, be there for you and vice versa. So the least we can do is return the favor by choosing the path of least resistance.

I am terribly sorry if you read this whole thing and got nothing out of it. That is why I have it under the necessary category. But thanks for reading anyway.

Cheers!!!

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The following post will only make sense to you if, you are a person with the following traits,

- have an ever growing craving for change
- more than just complacent with wherever you are in life
- always wondered how the personality that you are, would react if put in a certain situation
- always wanted to do something crazy that would surprise everyone and you yourself

It has been my dream for years to pack my bags one fine day with nothing more than a change, my toothbrush, paste, deo, cellfone and CATs and say Rs. 2000/- and set out to someplace Ive never been before. And I will do that sometime soon.

Q: What will you do when you run out of money?

A: I would love to work someplace and earn money. Just for a while, say a month or even couple of weeks. I do not care where it is and I mean it. It can be anywhere, even in a hotel as a waiter or a helper someplace. Live that simple life for a month and experience it. There are hidden treasures in a simple life. You might not quite understand where I am coming from but a lot of others who think like me will, I am sure.

Q: Isn’t that a scary thought and a stupid thing to do?

A: A lot of people are scared what will happen if they do that. They feel their whole life will be turned topsy turvy if they stay away. It’s all about personal perception and whether you find joy in living extravagantly or find joy in the simplest things in life such as helping someone and seeing a smile on their face, the gratitude and blessing smeared all over their face. It’s a different high on the whole. Don’t think too much, just go for it.

Q: What do you exactly have in mind, when you mean a simple life?

A: It all depends upon how adaptable you are to a new environment. If you are enslaved to the stereotypical lifestyle of waking up, going to work, slogging all day (doesn’t matter if u get to chill at work or even fool around, you are still at work and under someone), get back home, have dinner, go out probably, sleep and repeat the cycle. You might have a vaccation once in a blue moon to a beachy location and do water sports and return all refreshed. That is also good, but do not repeat it more than once, it becomes stale. What I have in mind is a secret i will reveal once I’ve lived it.

Everyone goes to beautiful locations for a vaccation, spend a fortune, upload pics, receive comments and get back to work. No one will remember it. Do something different, the feeling is beyond this world. You wouldn’t even bother if no one appreciated it. You yourself would be at peace. Whereas you go someplace else where everyone else has been and its not appreciated when you are back, it will bother you.

Q: Can you explain what kind of feeling you are referring to?

A: How can I explain that? It is for you to experience. By the way do not go on this trip with any of your girl mates. They won’t understand it. Even if they do, you will always have their safety and comfort on your head. So keep this trip as something that is close to your heart and for yourself.

Try this out sometime in your lifetime and if this post made you do it, don’t thank me or even acknowledge or admit it, I will just be glad if I succeeded in breaking the cocoon you were in.

Cheers!!!

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As a movie buff, I watch anything and everything that comes my way. Be it action, comedy, thriller, suspense, horror, classics, world movies, sheer slapstick comedy, name it, I watch it if I get the chance and time.

But most of the times, especially these days, it is hard to get myself to sit and watch a movie as there are a million things running through my head and after while I feel I am wasting precious time. Is it a common feelng or is it just me?

Anyway, here are the movies that are a must watch. I will keep updating this post so keep an eye on this space.

I have gone through enough pain to put this together. I have been collecting movies for almost a decade now. Each one of these movies are a worth watch.

If you have watched these movies already, please forgive this soul, this post is for the less fortunate ones. The ones, you know, who are not as cool as you. But if you want to add onto this list, be my guest. I will add them to the post.

Update 1

Transformers 2 : Revenge of the Fallen, Get Rich or Die Tryin, The Hangover, Notorious, No Country For Old Men, The Usual Suspects, Changeling, Bruno, Boondock Saints,  Ali-G, Blow, Borat, Trainspotting, All Gods Children Can Dance, The Reader, Sideways, Dragon Hunters, Frequency, Breach, Red Belt,Fireflies in the Garden, Kill Switch, Mongol, Contact,Mr. Untouchable,Wristcutters – A Love Story,O Jerusalem, Dead Man Walking, Schindler’s List, The Strangers, The Caller, Contact, The Visitor, Partition, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Shawshank Redemption, Contact, Juno, Donnie Brasco, Lord Of War, Funny Money, 300, London, 21, Seven Samurai, American History X, Scarface Ronin, Restraint, Snatch, Red Face, Spy Game, Sleepy Hollow, Pursuit Of Happyness

If you feel, “Damned, I’ve watched all these, this is a shit list”. The next step would be to grab your mouse, scroll to the right top corner of this page and just click on the “close” button. Very simple…

Otherwise, if you find this list somewhat useful, then scan through, cross out the ones you have already watched and watch the ones you haven’t. It ain’t rocket science my friend.

Update 2

Spun, Thank You For Smoking, The Doors, The Sixth Sense, 8 Mile, In Bruges, Signs, Unbreakable, The Bridge On River Kwai, Dr. Zhivago, Nothing Like The Holidays, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Shrek, Valkyrie, Seven Pounds, I – Robot, I Am Legend, Ace Ventura – Pet Detective, Ace Ventura – When Nature Calls, Man on the Moon, Einstein & Eddington, Zeitgeist Addendum, Lord of the Rings, The Caller, Frost Nixon, Underworld, American Pie, Harry Potter, X – Men, The Wrestler, Wall -E, Marley & Me, Doubt, Pink Panther, Blairwitch Project, Finding Nemo, Shark Tale, Good Morning Vietnam, Rainman, Star Wars, Kung – Fu Panda, All Roads Lead Home, Camille, Charlie and Me, Choke, Clubbed, Flow For the Love of Water, Freezer Burn, God On TrialGood, Humboldt County, Hunger, Keith, Kenny, In the Land of Women, Murder.com, Outlander, Passchendaele, Pride and Glory, Push, Tamami The Baby’s Curse, The Secret life of Bees, The Wave, The Hurt Locker, The Lucky Ones, The Last King of Scotland, Blood Diamond, Apocalypto, Passion of the Christ, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Recount

Update 3

Ray, Walk the Line, Soloist, 2012, The Godfather, Rocky, Rambo, Little Miss Sunshine, Good Will Hunting, Independence Day, Magnolia, The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951), Mystic River, Big Fish, Kill Bill, Waterboy, Cast Away, Big, Philadelphia, The Terminal, The Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, Rosemary’s Baby, Bonnie and Clyde, The Omen, The Grudge, The Ring, The Exorcist, The Conversation, King Kong, The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938), The Letters from Iwo Jima, Casino, The Rounders, The Children of Men, The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, Seven, Heat, Terminator, Toy Story, Harvery, Friday Night Lights, V for Vendetta, The Lion King, Ratatouille, The Graduate, Batman – The Dark Knight, Batman – The Begining, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Silence of the Lambs, The Hannibal, Red Dragon, The Matrix, Forrest Gump, Apocalypse Now, Saving Private Ryan, Behind Enemy Lines, Bad Company
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Update 4

The Prestige, Duplex, There’s Something About Mary, Star Trek, Sin City, Braveheart, The Patriot, Jaws, Midnight Meat Train, The Green Mile, Blade, Gladiator, The Manchurian Candidate, Die – Hard, Lethal Weapon, The General’s Daughter, The Jackal, Ben Hur, Les Diaboliques, The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, The Bourne Ultimatum, The Good The Bad and The Ugly, Casablanca, The Blade Runner, Psycho, One Hour Photo, Unforgiven, Sweet Smell of Success, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Flyboys
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Update 5

Road Trip, Friday, Home Alone, Austin Powers, Liar Liar, Meet The Fockers, Meet The Parents, Bruce Almighty, Men In Black, Hitch, Hairspray, Superbad, Knocked Up, Pineapple Express, Napolean Dynamite, Ocean’s Eleven, Ocean’s Twelve, Ocean’s Thirteen, Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, Namesake, Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, Taladega Nights, Night at the Museum, Wedding Crashers, The Brothers Grimm, Darjeeling Limited, 40-year old Virgin, Step Brothers, School of Rock, The Mummy, Disclosure, Wild Things, Basic Instinct, Gothika, Swordifsh, Bringing Down the House, The Love Guru, 50 First Dates, I Love You Man, Super Troopers, Zoolander, Shanghai Noon,Shangha Knights, Dogma, Dumb and Dumber, Pearl Harbor, Naked Gun, Spy Hard, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, The Gods Must Be Crazy, Dude Where’s my car?, Nacho Libre, Wild Hogs, Babel, Crash, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Charlie Bartlett, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

Update 6

Death at a Funeral, Galaxy Quest, Hot Shots, The Whole Nine Yards, The Whole Ten Yards, South Park, Chity Chity Bang Bang, Rush Hour, Police Story, First Strike, City Hunter, 40 Days and 40 Nights, Dan In Real Life,Lars and the Real Girl, Stuck, The Lady Killers, Road to Perdition, The Aviator, Catch Me If You Can, Revolutionary Road, Titanic, Bowfinger, Jackass: The Movie, Anger Management, Ice Age, American Gangster, Training Day, Man on Fire, The Shining, Gone Baby Gone, 3:10 to Yuma,

These movies are my all time favorites. I am still spading out the rest.

Cheers!!!

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